DOKK Library

Grognards Against Humanity

Authors Ewen Cluney

License CC-BY-NC-SA-2.0

Plaintext
Dnd 4.0 isn’t real dnd   It’s a D&D retroclone     Storygames aren’t     The Slayer’s Guide
because of the           with __________           RPGs because of       to __________.
__________.              added.                    the __________.




Worst character          Alignment:                What made the         The portal leads to
concept ever:            Chaotic __________        paladin fall?         the quasi-elemental
__________, but                                                          plane of __________.
with __________.




The Temple of            Pathfinder is basically   __________: The       People are
Elemental                D&D __________            Storytelling Game     wondering why
__________               Edition.                                        Steve Jackson
                                                                         published
                                                                         GURPS __________.



Linear Fighter,          You start with 1D4        Back when I was 12    Big Eyes,
Quadratic                __________ points.        and I was just        Small __________
__________                                         starting playing
                                                   D&D, the game had
                                                   __________.




In the grim darkness     My innovative new         A true gamer has no   Elminster cast a potent
of the future there is   RPG has a stat for        problem with          __________ spell and
only __________.         __________.               __________.           then had sex with
                                                                         __________.
Dragon boobs.   Verisimilitude.      Dissociated         Rape.
                                     mechanics.




Storygames.     Random chargen.      RPG.net.            Dice inserted
                                                         somewhere painful.




FATAL.          Ron Edwards’ brain   Boob plate armor.   Gamer chicks.
                damage.




GNS theory.     Drizzt.              The entire Palladium BadWrongFun.
                                     Books® Megaverse™.




Misogynerds.    Cultural Marxism.    Pissing on Gary     Steve Jackson’s
                                     Gygax’s grave.      beard.
Natural 20.         Rapenards.            The Crisis of       Game balance.
                                          Treachery™.




Fishmalks.          A kick to the dicebags. Bearded dwarven   Owlbear’s tears.
                                            women.




Magic missile.      THAC0.                Bigby’s Groping     Drow blackface.
                                          Hands.




Save or die.        Swine.                The Forge.          Healing Surges.




Gelatinous Cubes.   Total Party Kill.     Quoting Monty       Dumbed down shit
                                          Python.             for ADD WoW babies.
Mike Mearls.           Comeliness.         Vampire: The            Rifts™.
                                           Masquerade.




The random             Dildo of            Grognards Against       Cthulhu.
prostitute table.      Enlightenment +2.   Humanity.




The naked succubus     Role-playing and    Fun Tyrant.             4rries.
in the Monster Manual. roll-playing.




Martial dailies.       Black Tokyo.        Killfuck Soulshitter.   Cheetoism.




Grimdark.              Kobolds.            Oozemaster.             Rocks fall,
                                                                   everyone dies.
Mark Rein•Hagen.         Maid RPG.             Splugorth blind        Dying during chargen.
                                               warrior women.




Slaughtering innocent    Lesbian stripper      Magical tea party.     Grinding levels.
orc children.            ninjas.




Dice animism.            White privilege.      Githyanki therapy.     Amber Diceless
                                                                      Roleplaying.




A ratcatcher with a      Bribing the GM with   Eurocentric fantasy.   Sacred cows.
small but vicious dog.   sexual favors.




Gygaxian naturalism.     Special snowflakes.   Neckbeards.            Gazeebos.
Lorraine Williams.   Nude larping.           Portable holes.           Steampunk bullshit.




Dump stats.          Ale and whores.         The Deck of               You are all at a tavern
                                             Many __________.          when __________
                                                                       approach you.




                                Grognards Against Humanity
                                An unofficial expansion for that game about cards that oppose
                                humanity.

                                By Ewen Cluney

                                Based on Cards Against Humanity, by Cards Against Humanity
                                LLC (http://cardsagainsthumanity.com/), produced under a
                                BY-NC-SA 2.0 Creative Commons license.
                                http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/2.0/