The Wizard in the Woods is Up to Something (Maybe)
Entrance: large empty cavern; ambient light from thousands of small holes in the ceiling,
pathways lead in five directions.
Circle of Non-circular Rooms Not
Really in a Circle Rooms
1. 2 angry badgers + 2,000cp.
2. 1 cave bear + scroll of Demonic 1
3. Small twisted crawl way.
4. 5 cave gnome guardsmen.
5. 6 cave gnome guardsmen.
6. 10 cave gnome guardsmen.
7. 4 cave gnome guardsmen.
8. 3 cave gnome guardsmen + exit to
9. 5 cave gnome guardsmen. 12
10. 1 cave gnome shaman + 2 cave gnome guardsmen.
11. Shrine to Pherosathoola, Petty Goddess of Sexual
Fear. Jewel-encrusted ivory statue of goddess @5,227gp + misc. altar trappings and
In the Wizard’s Chambers
32. Massive locked & triple-warded oaken door leads to wizard’s main chamber, where he hangs
12. Empty room. Walls covered in cave gnome script, repeating the same phrase
out to write, think, and work on his master thesis, “The Hive of the Corrupted Mind of
Harzaar,” a bizarre mishmash of history, alchemy, fantasy travelogue and mad rantings
13. 1 smelly half-wit hermit + 349gp worth of weird trinkets. Door to area 17.
written in manifesto form. The manuscript consists of several hundred vellum pages. 20%
14. 16 rabid ferrets (pets of smelly hermit). Large hole in floor to area 18.
chance reading a page causes permanent –3 INT + permanent –10hp. The Church would
15. 92 groundhog gremlins; each will quiver & double via instant mitosis in presence of owlbear.
probably like to see it destroyed, but it might be worth a hell of a lot to the right buyer.
16. Huge gremlin filth pile; 753gp worth of shit-covered jewels and shiny objects. Also, exit to
33. Water Closet. Reeking chamber pot + pitcher of fresh water. 99% chance drinking the water
causes Flesh to Stone Disease. Drinking chamber pot imparts permanent +3 to WIS.
17. 1 hibernating owlbear (worshiped by groundhog gremlins; pet of hermit), shiny items worth
34. Library. Stacks of books, shelves of knickknacks, tubes of scrolls, etc., piled everywhere.
1d10 x 112gp & corpse of dead halfling, half-eaten. Door to area 13.
30% chance of a useful scroll found in here; 40% chance useful scroll backfires when cast.
Down the Short Stone Stairs in the Corner 4,876gp worth of trinkets, jewels, various magician’s claptrap.
18. Tar pit encrusted with three feet of ferret filth from hole in ceiling from area 14. 35. Bedroom. Small cot occupied by Dawizard Indawoods, 18th level semi-chaotic MU; appears
19. Small niche with demonic statue @1,567gp; remove the statue and it springs to life and to be being tortured in his sleep (moaning and thrashing and humping the bed) while
attacks, summoning 1d12 lemure demons. nocturnally emitting. He will wake if roused.
20. Large, rough-hewn cavern with 167 mummified corpses, sorted and stacked by size. Roughly 36. Pantry stocked with various foodstuffs to last 1d6 weeks.
456gp worth of small trinkets on the bodies. 37% chance party recognizes some body. Some 37. Small niche holds scroll of Abomination, scroll of Speak to Elder Gods, and scroll of Faster
bodies have been skinned. Suicide Kill.
21. Hidden room. Shelves and shelves of body organs in rough-hewn jars. 2 Potion of 38. Locked secret door to small hallway.
Mummification, 1 Potion of Fearlessness, 1 Potion of Sexual Prowess. 39. Seriously bummed out lesser demon contained in magic circle. Secret door to area 43.
22. 1 harpy chained to wall; knows about bandits in areas 30 & 31. Also, small, partially
Cave Gnome Village People
obstructed locked door to long twisty hallway leading to area 40.
40. 1d30 cave gnome huts; 3d30 cave gnome warriors in ritualistic orgy; chanting. Various
Up the Stone Stair Spiral Over There trinkets and jewels @11,460gp. At least 3 exits to surface + long twisty hallway to area 22.
23. Empty room. 41. 3 cave gnome shamans, 3 cave gnome warriors, 1 cave gnome king, 1 cave gnome queen,
24. Empty room + small crawl way exit to surface. 1 shifty-looking halfling merchant wearing ruby pendant.
25. 1d20 mummified cave gnomes. 42. Shrine to Pherosathoola. Large ivory statue of goddess covered in cave gnome script of same
26. Hatchery. 1d24 unhatched dog-sized eggs. 1d12 hatched eggs and 1d6 succubi and 1d6 phrase as in area 12. Speaking phrase in front of statue 3x teleports speaker to area 12.
incubi feeding on two dead bandits and 1d6 mummified cave gnomes. 43. Scriptorium. 1d12 cave gnomes copying pages from manuscript from area 32 in harpy blood
27. Empty room. ink by torchlight. Barely alive harpy chained to wall. 1 skinned harpy. 2d24 yards tanned
28. 2 harpies chained to wall; sisters of harpy in area 22. harpy skins @127gp per yard. Secret door to area 39.
29. Empty room.
30. 19 nervous bandits + 3,000gp worth of stolen goods.
31. 3 nervous bandits + dead kidnap victim; appears to be son of local ruler. He has suffered
recent disfiguring burns to face, hands, and feet. His pants are covered in sticky white fluid.
released under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported License.
created for the One Page Dungeon Contest 2013 by Matthew W. Schmeer, who can’t draw maps worth a damn
©2013 Matthew W. Schmeer,
Iä! Jaash im raa!
Matthew W. Schmeer